top of page

Let’s talk Boobs

Breasts. (automatically think chicken). Tits. Feeding vessel. Boobs, Tea Bags. Here are just a very few of the 993+ Words to Describe Breasts - Adjectives For Breasts……call them what you may.

Upright Virginal (not for long), Monstrous meaty (double Whopper & fries). Beloved, maddening..i like!!. Large but alert (handy for cleavage). Potentially functional (are they referring to a kitchen gadget). My favorite…Divine say hello to Amorous (you don’t need anyone else…sigh!!!)

You are by now wondering what the fuck have boobs got to do with Shake Up Parkinsons with Art or Wake up Parkinson’s with education. Hold on to your tea bags or dick. It will all be revealed in “A day in the life of co-existing with Parkinson’s“.

Today was the dreaded day…my Mammogram was scheduled for noon. From my PD standpoint a perfect time for my Dopa-Levadopa (4 hourly medication) to be at its prime “on“ switch…which means a high probability that enough dopamine would be released allowing me to stand still and a bunch of other strange physical contortions would not happen.

Let me be clear…men have Udders, just not Feeding Vessels (I could be wrong on the Feeding Vessel though). Anyhow, the % of men Udders that require mammograms are much less than women boobs. That being said I’m going to be speaking to the crowd that have not had a mammogram and I am NOT going to use tits to explain…I’m going to use a “lusciously hard” (#16 of 367+) pricks to describe the process of tit pics. In this case prick pics.

I will be as brief and painless as possible. Imagine your body from toe to groin aligned with a machine, not half bad until your body from groin to top of head is redirected to such a sharp side angle that it almost lifts your feet off the ground and your toes are left gripping the floor hanging on for dear life while your face is smooshed against a cold hard surface…you can hardly breath because who knows where your nose is. Your one arm is wrapped around the core of the machine hanging on so tight that your fingers start to cramp. Your other arm is pulled high and back as far as possible to give a clear visual….your elbow at the highest point and your hand hanging limp while two fingers are searching for something to hold on to….you whole body depending on those two fingers for stability. Now the main event ….Your lusciously hard phallus is side angled on a ice cold surface which scientifically immediately becomes “withered & empty”(almost the exact words used today). Then the process of making a thin crust pizza from dough begins. I believe you have seen what that process looks like? Only when your dick resembles a thin soft crust slice are you ready to debut your Manogram.

Now lets add Parkinson’s into the dough. First you must know that no two PD-ers have the same symptom. For me touch and stress will set off uncontrollably shaking to the point where it is impossible and I do mean IMPOSSIBLE to stand still. it is even painful to try.

Today was a good day though. I spent the morning with my daughters dog Zim (Zimbabwe). We walk, I talk, he listens, we cuddle and listen to music, I read aloud to him, he understands. I take my meds on time, I eat the right food, I try not to stress about anything. I hand over my day to the universe to collaborate with Parkinson’s. That takes care of the stress factor. What about touch? For most of my 9 years with PD I go to the same facility and the same radiologist. She knows that I know how to position my body without her touching…the only touch is ”the dough”……over the years it has become easier for me to accept. That little part on each side of my temple where lives my dopamine has begun, for now to accept the process. There have been a few times that it has taken over two hours for a mammogram.

By now I am sure you are tired of PD education, so lets move on to Shaking it UP with Art. Another intriguing feature of PD is Lack of facial expression. I prefer to use my art as the artery to emotion. My art is not there to have you feel the same as I feel……its there to channel your own feelings.

Art is my therapy. It helps me understand and accept these foreign feelings and these strange uncontrollable movements. Art is a way for me to take a photo of myself or someone else and by using digital apps I can channel whats in the eyes, I see things that I can explain through the frame far better than I can through my voice.

This is how I felt about todays Mammogram.

34 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page